The Belko Experiment - Ian Hates Movies #64

The Belko Experiment - Ian Hates Movies #64

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT! PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!

PLEASE DO NOT SEE THE BELKO EXPERIMENT.

Ian and Kelly are not using reverse psychology on you and they've never done this before, but they don't want you to waste your time and money on The Belko Experiment. Don't be rubes like James Gunn and Blumhouse want you to be! Leave it to Ian and Kelly to see the terrible movies and you get to listen to the awesome, FREE, Ian Hates Movies episode! Isn't that better?

Normally, people may see the movie before listening to a specific episode of Ian Hates Movies. Ian and Kelly are aware of this of course. But, for The Belko Experiment, please just don't. Just listen to the episode. It's more intelligent, funnier, and it won't insult you as a human being (well maybe sometimes, haha).

Just listen in and hear what Ian and Kelly mean. If you've seen Battle Royale, Hunger Games, or Office Space, you'll understand soon enough.

Does Ian Hate The Belko Experiment...YES!

P.S. - There's a mechanical demon that has possessed Kelly's mic for random parts of this episode! Pay it no mind and they're sure they'll EXERCISE THE DEMON! Get it... 

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Long days and pleasant nights.

10 Cloverfield Lane - Ian Hates Movies #63

10 Cloverfield Lane - Ian Hates Movies #63

Ian and Kelly broke their theater streak but still got a good movie in this week. On this episode of Ian Hates Movies, they talk the next installment of the J.J. Abrams' Cloverfield universe, 10 Cloverfield Lane!

This psychological thriller/alien invasion movie 10 Cloverfield Lane stars John Goodman and one of the loves of Ian's life, Mary Elizabeth Winstead!

Let's get to 10 Cloverfield Lane already! You're gonna need to talk about this before the next one comes out!

P.S. - Ian is sick again! Damn the winter! He apologizes if his voice waivers from time to time.

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Long days and pleasant nights.

Logan - Ian Hates Movies #62

Logan - Ian Hates Movies #62

Three weeks in a row Ian and Kelly have gone to the theaters to see movies. That's gotta be a record! In this week's episode of Ian Hates Movies, Ian and Kelly talk the new FOX/Marvel superhero movie Logan starring Mr. Wolverine, Hugh Jackman!

Is this the best superhero movie so far? Is it the saddest? The most realistic maybe? Tune in to see what Ian and Kelly have to say about the newest chapter in Wolverine's movie career.

Enough talk, listen to the new episode of Ian Hates Movies on Logan and hear Ian get all choked up and show emotion!

P.S. - Ian might be getting sick again and it can be heard slightly in his voice, stupid cold weather! Anyone want to pay him to move to Texas already? Any jobs available?

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Long days and pleasant nights.

John Wick: Chapter 2 - Ian Hates Movies #61

John Wick: Chapter 2 - Ian Hates Movies #61

Keanu Reeves is back in John Wick: Chapter 2! You wanted Ian and Kelly back too...So they're back!

Get to your sommelier and choose something suitable for this episode of Ian Hates Movies as Ian and Kelly take you through one of the best action movies in recent memory! No use jaw yappin here, just listen in!

Does Ian Hate John Wick: Chapter 2...

P.S. - Kelly is off jet-setting, makin that money! So, Ian and Kelly apologize for any technical difficulties that may, or may not have shortened the episode.

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Long days and pleasant nights.

Fifty Shades Darker - Ian Hates Movies #60

Fifty Shades Darker - Ian Hates Movies #60

Welcome everyone to your make-up Valentine's Day! That's right, it's time for Fifty Shades Darker time...

Ian is suffering from some unknown illness, could it be allergies...or the movie itself...it's a mystery! Not really...

This may actually be the shortest Ian Hates Movies of all time, so even if you have no desire to see Fifty Shades Darker or talk about it, never you worry! Neither do Ian or Kelly obviously! Listen in as villainous villains are set up for the "exciting" conclusion coming next year! Does Ana get everything she wants? Is Christian a SADIST?!?!?!? The answers are 'yes' and 'yes', but you should still listen anyways, haha.

Does Ian Hate Fifty Shades Darker...

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Long days and pleasant nights.

Fifty Shades of Grey - Ian Hates Movies #59

Fifty Shades of Grey - Ian Hates Movies #59

This brings everything full circle with Fifty Shades of Grey. Grey, was one of the first written reviews that Ian Hates ever did. But, this episode certainly isn't a rehash of old material!

The original plan for the Ian Hates Movies Valentine's Day Special, was to talk Fifty Shades Darker. But, the massive snow storm in the northeast ruined those plans...much like many a Valentine's Day plan! Am I right? Am I right?

So, Kelly watched Fifty Shades of Grey AGAIN! Crazy right? And she brings her unique perspective to the topics covered in this terrible, but pretty humorous movie! You're going to enjoy all the personal stories and resulting comedy that comes from this NSFW episode of Ian Hates Movies!

Does Ian Hate Fifty Shades of Grey... 

Welcome to the comedy show!

P.S. - Ian apologizes for how his voice reacts to the cold and snow sometimes. Hopefully it'll be all better soon!

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Long days and pleasant nights.

Blue Valentine - Ian Hates Movies #58

Blue Valentine - Ian Hates Movies #58

Wow, Ian and Kelly are really choosing some depressing movies recently...

Do you think this is how they feel about Valentine's Day? Probably!

To continue that trend, Ian and Kelly talk the 2010 romantic drama Blue Valentine. They of course talk about the movie as well as their own personal views of love and relationships. Oh boy! I'm sure it's super positive! Let's not give away too much here, just check out the show and let Ian and Kelly know what you think about love. It might be a depressing movie, but that doesn't mean Ian and Kelly can't get some comedy out of it! You gotta remember to laugh through the tears sometimes...

Does Ian Hate Blue Valentine...

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Long days and pleasant nights.

Teeth - Ian Hates Movies #57

Teeth - Ian Hates Movies #57

Finally! A movie Ian is actually afraid of. If you've never heard of the movie 'Teeth', then maybe you don't understand, but if you listen, you soon will. But, turns out this is Kelly's favorite movie...In fact, she even says she'd want this as her superpower! That's fucked up! You just have to listen to understand how fucked up it really is. Continue your Ian Hates Movies experience with their continued Valentine's Day fucked up movies about sex and relationship romp with 'Teeth'!

Does Ian Hate Teeth...

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Long days and pleasant nights.

It Follows - Ian Hates Movies #56

It Follows - Ian Hates Movies #56

Watch out! What's that behind you?!?!?!? Oh no worries, it's just Ian Hates Movies! It's not a monster slowly following you to kill you in a horrendous way...or is it? Who did you have sex with? You better check! Scary stuff man...also this is going to be another NSFW episode, though, do I really have to say that at this point?

Anyway...Ian and Kelly are continuing their trend of great relationship movies! Hahaha. This week it's the awesome horror movie from 2014, It Follows! Listen in as Ian and Kelly talk about their theories on the film and a bunch of sexual explicit content! Haha, is that their new thing now? You'll have to listen to find out!

Does Ian Hate It Follows...

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Long days and pleasant nights.

What's Your Number? - Ian Hates Movies #55

What's Your Number? - Ian Hates Movies #55

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! EXPLICIT CONTENT ALERT! EXPLICIT CONTENT ALERT!

Although everyone who knows Ian Hates Movies, knows it's a comedy show, it's important to state that again from time to time, haha. Young children and adults without a sense of humor should not listen to Ian Hates Movies. There are plenty of other shows you can listen to. Thank you to those who get it!

On today's episode of Ian Hates Movies, it's a Kelly pick! Kelly has wanted to talk the 2011 romcom 'What's Your Number?' forever! Because this movie, starring Anna Faris and Chris Evans, deals with a lot of sexual topics, so do Ian and Kelly! It only makes sense. This will also give all you Haters out there a glimpse of what Ian Hates Love will include sometimes! So kick back, take off your pants...wait, no, don't do that. Just listen privately (NSFW) and enjoy this really fun episode!

Does Ian Hate What's Your Number?...

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Long days and pleasant nights.

 

 

Christopher Nolan's Batman Trilogy - Ian Hates Movies #54 - The Anniversary Show

Christopher Nolan's Batman Trilogy - Ian Hates Movies #54 - The Anniversary Show

It's the first anniversary of Ian Hates Movies! Ian, Kelly, and special guest Mandy, are celebrating by talking about some movies that they've teased on the show, almost from the beginning! That's right...Forest Gump...No, no, no...that's coming sometime later, haha. No, this time they're talking about the Christopher Nolan Batman Trilogy! That includes:

Batman: Begins

Batman: The Dark Knight

Batman: The Dark Knight Rises

Wow, can you believe it?!?! That also doesn't include some anniversary chatter and the trademark tangents you've come to know and love!

Enough typing and reading, just listen!

Does Ian Hate Batman...

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Long days and pleasant nights.

Snowpiercer - Ian Hates Movies #53

Snowpiercer - Ian Hates Movies #53

What better way to start 2017 than with film about a dystopian future where the last of humanity is on a train powered by perpetual motion?

There is none is the correct answer here!

Kelly is away on business, so Mandy was nice enough to join Ian for in-depth discussions on Chris Evans and his muscles...oops...I mean...discussions about the balance of a fragile ecosystem, nature vs. nurture, class-ism, and Captain America! Damn, did it again! Oh well. Just listen in on these discussions and enjoy!

Wilford is divine!

Does Ian Hate Snowpiercer... 

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Long days and pleasant nights.

The Family Man - Ian Hates Movies #52

The Family Man - Ian Hates Movies #52

Ian and Kelly are back with their final installment of the holiday movie series for 2016. This time, it's a different choice for them. A movie maybe you'd never expect, The Family Man starring Nicolas Cage and Tea Leoni! See, Ian kind of has emotions (Kelly has absolutely zero though!). Just listen and you'll see what I'm talking about. Back to "regular" movies after this one!

Does Ian Hate The Family Man...

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Long days and pleasant nights.

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Gremlins - Ian Hates Movies #51

Gremlins - Ian Hates Movies #51

No intro today, just read one of the greatest monologues in cinema history that takes place in the 1984 "family" movie Gremlins!

"The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus."

Now listen to Ian and Kelly discuss THAT! By the way, Kelly is traumatized by Gremlins so enjoy that as well!

Does Ian Hate Gremlins...

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Long days and pleasant nights.

Krampus (2015) - IHMovies #50

Krampus (2015) - IHMovies #50

Wait...that's not Santa! It's...KRAMPUS!!!!!!

Kelly is definitely on the naughty list and Ian's on the nice list (of course), but since he was in the vicinity of her, Krampus has sucked them both into hell! Oh no! Well, at least they can still do the show! Listen in as Ian and Kelly tackle the Christmas horror/comedy Krampus (2015)! The release year is added because there are a ton of straight-to-DVD movies with similar names (as Kelly can attest to). Christmas tangents galore for your ear-holes on the way! Also, if somehow you didn't understand the ending to the movie, you will after this!

Does Ian Hate Krampus...

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Long days and pleasant nights.

Reindeer Games - Ian Hates Movies #49

Reindeer Games - Ian Hates Movies #49

Reindeer Games (2000)...really? Well...tis the season right?

Listen in to hear Ian and Kelly talk the rather HATED "Christmas" heist movie Reindeer Games starring Ben Affleck, Charlize Theron, and Gary Sinise. What happened? That's what Ian and Kelly will try to explain while asking even more questions like:

Why did they do that?

Wouldn't he be safe if he just did this?

And so forth, and so on...

Does Ian Hate Reindeer Games...

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Long days and pleasant nights.

Heathers - Ian Hates Movies #48

Heathers - Ian Hates Movies #48

Ian is so excited to talk about one of his favorite movies ever, Heathers! Unfortunately, Kelly is not...

Why doesn't Kelly like the amazing movie Heathers? Did she even watch it? Did she understand it? I can tell you that by the end of the episode, NONE of these questions will be answered! You'll just have to listen to understand what that means...so just do it!

Does Ian Hate Heathers...

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Long days and pleasant nights.

Sky High - Ian Hates Movies #47

Sky High - Ian Hates Movies #47

It's Thanksgiving time, so Ian and Kelly thought it'd be a perfect time to do a family movie. Strange right? What, we mix it up! Calm down! Plus, it's a superhero movie too. Welcome to Sky High (2005)! Listen as Ian and Kelly go through this coming of age movie set in a high school full of super heroes floating high in the sky. Title making sense now????

Anyway, Kelly also starts tangents on superhero powers, The Incredibles, and time travel among other things! You'll just have to listen! Really though, even though this is a kid's movie, your kids or any kids probably shouldn't be listening to this show, haha.

Does Ian Hate Sky High...

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Long days and pleasant nights.

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Ghostbusters (2016) - Ian Hates Movies #46

Ghostbusters (2016) - Ian Hates Movies #46

Ever type a movie title in amazon and rent it without remembering that there was an attempted reboot with the same title...

...

And that, my friends, is why Ian and Kelly are now doing the new Ghostbusters (2016) on Ian Hates Movies...so much excitement out there, I can tell! Did they make it out of the movie without covering their ears...hopefully you didn't see the movie and didn't get that "joke". Just listen to the show, haha. You'll at least enjoy that!

Does Ian Hate Ghostbusters (2016)...

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Long days and pleasant nights.

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Doctor Strange - Ian Hates Movies #45

Doctor Strange - Ian Hates Movies #45

Ian and Kelly are back...and this time it's for a new movie! A movie in theaters! Crazy! I know right? Well, let's get right to it. If you haven't noticed or guessed already, the new Ian Hates Movies is on Marvel's Doctor Strange! Was the newest stepping stone in Marvel's infinity stone arc to get to Infinity War a good one? Listen and find out!

Does Ian Hate Doctor Strange...

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Long days and pleasant nights.